Developing Personal Style with Allison Bornstein
An author chat with a reader Q&A. Plus: Seven things to ask yourself before buying a new piece of clothing.
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If you’ve scrolled through personal style content on TikTok or Instagram, you’ve probably seen Allison Bornstein. The stylist and virtual fashion consultant is known for helping people streamline their closets with her “three word method,” supporting getting dressed as a creative version of self care that’s rooted in personal expression instead of fleeting trends or beauty norms.
Allison is a “closet therapist” who has styled everything from fashion shoots to Katie Holmes. Still, her take on styling and shopping is so actionable and refreshing, and she shares even more wisdom in her new book Wear It Well: Reclaim Your Closet and Rediscover the Joy of Getting Dressed. In this special author chat with Alisha, Allison gives highly actionable advice rooted in your reader questions, from adjusting style with age and life changes (having a baby!) to dressing for virtual meetings, setting up the perfect fall outfit formula, and trying out trends while being true to yourself. It’s the perfect read for the seasonal shift. –Aliza
Alisha: Hi, Allison! You often say that “fashion is wellness” and that “getting dressed is a version of self-care.” Can you think of a specific example where this saying comes to life?
I often say, when you look good, you feel good. Contrary to popular opinion, fashion is actually very deep and it is a tool for self expression—one of the best that we have. I think often the idea of caring about fashion can be seen as vain or shallow and therefore, fashion as self expression is not taken very seriously. But in order to have good style you actually have to have an understanding of yourself in a very deep way— who you are, what you like, what you don’t like.
I often see clients who are going through major life changes—having a new identity as a mother, or changing careers. To fully and successfully embrace a change or a “new” identity, you have to start by understanding who you are and what you want to portray to the world. Fashion helps you do that. It is a way of telling the world (and ourselves) who we are and what is important to us without opening our mouths. While fashion has been problematic or traumatic for many of us, I often advise clients to try to re-frame the experience of getting dressed as a privilege and as a creative endeavor. It can be really fun and joyful when we approach it from this lens as opposed to constantly trying to look “young” or “cool” or “thin” or “chic”.
I’ve found your approach within your content to be very kind and empathetic. Where does that come from?
I think that fashion can be exclusionary and intimidating, like it’s only for a specific type of person. I wanted to remove those barriers and find a way to educate people on personal style and how to find theirs. I think we often think we either have style or we don’t, but that is not true. The book really attempts to explain (in detail) how to put together a wardrobe that will make getting dressed easy and expressive. I talk about “why” something works and really break things down in an attempt to make it accessible and approachable.
I also offer virtual FaceTime styling sessions (I have seen over 1,300 people since mid-2020) so I really get a close up viewing of what people are struggling with. I realize that many clients have just lost their confidence and need some cheerleading. I think that we all intuitively know what we are doing but it is hard to trust ourselves because fashion is so subjective and there is no right or wrong answer. I want to give people a safe space to play and have fun with fashion, and give them the confidence to know that they are doing it “right!”
Okay, let’s talk about shopping! What should we be asking ourselves before purchasing a new item of clothing?
I have my 7 shopping questions that are very helpful:
Do I get a deep-down, full body YES, when I see myself wearing this item?
Will it make getting dressed easier?
Do I have something that serves the same purpose? And if so, when would I wear this instead of the piece I already own?
Would I be willing to give up something that I have in my wardrobe to own this piece?
Will I have to purchase something else (ie, a specific shoe I don’t have) in order to wear it?
Does it suit my style, or do I really just like the way it looks on someone else?
Can I see myself wearing this next year?
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