Recs #113
In defense of doing all the holiday things anyway
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A few weeks ago, I made the executive decision to sign our family up for a gingerbread decorating event to enjoy with Lily. When the time came to attend, I wasn’t feeling so sure about it. It was Sunday, we were all pretty tired, it was freezing outside…but we bundled up and headed out, anyway. Turns out, the event was a hit with the whole family, and let’s just say Lily ate way more M&M’s than she added to our house. We made the decision right then and there to do it all again the following year.
It can sometimes feel like such a chore to get all the things ready to partake in a holiday tradition (especially with little kids), but this was a good reminder that most of the time, it’s worth it. Just as connection comes from inconveniencing yourself, making meaningful memories comes from putting in just a bit more effort and trusting the process.
Do you and/or your family keep any favorite holiday traditions? I’d love to hear, especially if they’re low-effort but high reward. 👇
xo Alisha
Judging by the submissions in this year’s Downtime gifting hotline, it seems we all hit the same wall: what do you give the parents or in-laws who insist they “don’t need anything??” Here’s my go-to solution, the sentimental gift I’ve been recommending to everyone (and actually bought for my own parents this year): an Aura Frame.
A quick rundown of why it’s so good:
Zero-tech-stress setup. The app is intuitive and takes two secs to set up.
Crowdsourced joy. You can loop in the whole family so photos magically appear on your giftee’s frame. This is probably my favorite feature: seeing which photos others are adding to the frame!
Instant gratification. I love that you can pre-load the frame with favorites so they’re unwrapping a highlight reel.
We’ve got the 12” Aspen frame at home and it’s become a bit of a running family comedy hour: my husband’s been loading it up with funny hidden gems from his camera roll, like cute baby photos of Lily and a very flattering picture of me with my LED red light mask on.
A special treat for Downtime readers: The code ‘ALISHA’ gets you $30 off the Aspen Frame until Dec 31st! Happy gifting.*
A few November superlatives
It’s not an exhaustive recap, but here are the things that stuck with me this month…
The best thing I did for myself: Hiring a “mother’s helper” (ugh, a terribly antiquated term) for 2 hours on the weekends to help with light household tasks, like folding laundry or loading and unloading the dishwasher. Our wonderful helper also plays with Lily for an hour or so, giving my husband and I time to get other things done around the house. If you’re interested, I can write more about this topic, but Rachel Beiser has a wonderfully helpful post here, too.
The worst thing I did for myself: Saying yes to too many things. This quarter has been the busiest I’ve ever been work-wise in a while, and it all comes down to not being realistic about my time and energy. I’m learning to tamp down my excitement at every opportunity, to stop gobbling them up as if they’ll disappear by tomorrow. Something I’m carrying into next year is a mindset of abundance: trusting that the opportunities and growth will still be there, and that I don’t have to take on everything all at once.
The best thing I watched: My husband and I decided to catch up on The Diplomat and whizzed through seasons 1 and 2. We’re now finally on season 3 and my girl crush on Keri Russell has only grown.
definition of chic The best thing I read: The Correspondent by Virginia Evans. This seems to be the crowdpleaser of the year, and would make a perfectly reflective winter read. Have tissues at the ready. Up next on my shelf: a Hamnet reread, and Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino, which is a thriller about house-hunting in the D.C. suburbs (already terrifying, not for the weak) so it was an obvious must-read for me.
Favorite moment of the month: It’s two-way tie between seeing my beautiful friends in LA and enjoying a perfect mom-daughter morning spent at the bookstore, playground, farmer’s market, and local stores for some holiday window shopping.
Left: The perks of having too-cool-for-school friends who are Disney animators! Center: Picking up gifts at our local bookstore, Wonderland Books. Right: Having a blast at the playground. The best thing I consumed: Holiday peppermint pretzel slims from TJ’s. No contest!!!
The worst thing I consumed: An article about YouTube AI slop for babies. 👎
What were some of your favorites?
What ended up in my cart
Because I’m nosy, I love knowing what people actually buy when the discount dust settles. In that spirit, here’s my own tally. A few of these have lived on my “to buy” list for a while, which is how I’m justifying their sudden arrival in my cart. This list doesn’t include gifts I bought for others, because secrets.
A personalized 2026 planner from Papier, $28. I added the adorable and useful flower pen clip, too, $7.
The waterproof Super Puff long coat from Aritiza, $400. It was time for an upgrade.
A balconette bra I like for its scoop-y support, sized up for maternity, from CUUP, $50.
A restock of my Sofie Pavitt moisturizer ($50) and serum ($40).
My favorite basic tee, in both black and white, $70.
A warm pair of joggers and sweatshirt set from Aerie, $40 each.
A hot round brush that I’ve used twice so far but already has me wondering why did I wait so long to get one?!, $88.
The earrings I wear almost every day, in silver, $119.
For the curious, the most popular items from across our gift guides were: this personalized magnetic bookmark, engraved pill box, and cross-stitch kit, all from Etsy, a knit bandana from Madewell, and really good socks.
Links, reads, and open tabs of the week
If you’re still gift shopping, here’s a reminder of all the gift guides I’ve published this year: bookish gifts, tasteful-and-under $50 gifts, gifts for her, gifts for him, cozy gifts that feel like a hug, and your toughest gifting dilemmas.
comments from the toughest gifting questions post On the topic of holiday traditions: I loved reading fellow Anglophile Kathryn Worsham Humphries’ list of British-inspired holiday festivities she plans to take on this year. Cooking a cozy, pub-style meal for Christmas Eve dinner sounds absolutely divine.
So many books: The end-of-year book lists are hitting publish. I always love poking around NPR’s Books We Love package.
A jewelry collab: I worked with one of my favorite, local woman-owned small businesses here in D.C., Shelter, to custom design a gold pendant necklace featuring a champagne diamond that you can wear every day. I love it so much and you can purchase it now as a gift!
the Alisha Ramos necklace Going analog: Sara Covey’s analog gift guide was such a lovely read and good antidote to all the other gift guides out there. “My oldest son has expressed an interest in photography this year so we’ve been giving him disposable cameras to experiment with.” [*it’s paywalled]
If you’re in the dry hands club: I loved all the smart reader recommendations for dry, cracked winter hands over in our subscriber chat.
How to look forward to winter: This NPR podcast episode had this lovely note about how lighting a candle means you’re not fighting the darkness, you’re working with it.
An incredibly useful FYI: I just found out that there are curated sections dedicated to FSA/HSA eligible products at places like Dermstore, Sephora, and Babylist. Sharing in case you’re coming up against your deadline, too.
For the board game fans: A cozy girl’s guide to board games from Cozy Pursuits with Kylin Anne. Wishing I had friends nearby who love to play board games…!
Fully in nesting mode: I’m thinking these bed sheets organizers would be really great for my mental health, given the current state of our linen closet.
A hidden secondhand gem: This vintage online shop featuring kids’ stuff. Please send me any other favorite stores! I bought this quilt for my son’s nursery to frame and/or hang on the wall, and these hand-sewn, upcycled gingham pants, and these train cords (!), all under $40. There’s a treasure trove of items—be sure to check out the knitwear section.
A sweet subscriber giveaway
This week’s exciting giveaway is a custom “Weekend Mom” or “Weekend Lady” illustration to one lucky reader from *the* wonderful Grace Farris, whose “Weekend Mom” series you’ve likely seen all across the internet, including Cup of Jo. She’s got a heartwarming book coming out next year called More Than a Million, about the unconditional love caregivers provide.
To enter the giveaway: Please leave a comment below with a favorite thing (show, recipe, read, etc.) from November. I’ll choose a winner by Wednesday, 5pm EST.
Hi Grace! What’s on your December bucket list?
“I like to do all of the low effort/high reward holiday crafts (paper chains, making pomanders out of oranges and cloves, etc). I’m also looking forward to driving up to see this art exhibit.”
Have you read anything good lately?
“Yes! My favorite romance novel of the year is probably Along Came Amor by Alexis Daria. In literary fiction, I enjoyed The Ten Year Affair by Erin Somers—it was very funny and poignant. I also recently finished a holiday romcom that was very sweet: Yours for the Season by Uzma Jalaluddin.”
Links:
Pre-order Grace’s forthcoming book that looks so sweet, MORE THAN A MILLION, out January 6th.
Follow Grace on Instagram or on her newsletter, Weekend Mom.
Last week’s giveaway winners: Congrats to reader Thalia, who won the giveaway of beauty goodies from CAP Beauty, Jouer, and more! And congrats to reader Alison H. who won the giveaway for ROZ’s haircare kit and some extra goodies.
Giving back: Thanks to the support of my paid subscribers, I was able to donate $700 to the Capital Area Food Bank in November! I’ll continue to donate through December, using a portion of my paid subscriptions revenue.
*Today’s Recs was unlocked for everyone and sponsored in part by Aura. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Downtime.
One of my favorite traditions for nearly 30 years My sisters Glenda & Kathy, my Mama Irene & myself visited the Norfolk Botanical Gardens during the Christmas Holiday Season the first Saturday evening in December then we'd stop at a fast food restaurant to get hot dogs, fries & shakes fror dinner. Then the second Saturday in December we'd start at 5 PM & drive around & look at commercial & residential Holiday lighting displays: small towns & cities Courtland, Boykins, Newsoms, Franklin, Sedley , Ivor, Hunterdale, Portsmouth, Newport News, Suffolk & so many places we'd drive for nearly 5 hours & then grab pizzas for late dinner & bring a meatball sub home for our Daddy. Recently my sister Kathy & her fiance Max want to restart the tradition: we stopped back in 2019 after Mama passed away & Glenda passed in 2022 so I'm excited to restart such a special tradition.
Our favorite holiday tradition is ice cream for breakfast on Christmas morning. We layer it with strawberries and cereal flakes. My normally very uptight British Grandmother started it with her kids, and I'll be passing it onto mine this year.