How to Survive a Chaotic Week (Solo Parenting or Otherwise)
Plus, some charming nursery finds from Etsy.
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I’m donating 10% of this month’s paid subscriber proceeds to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center in LA. I encourage you to consider donating directly if possible and/or stay informed about what’s happening. It’s all reprehensible. (I appreciated this post from Jessica Yellin whose newsletter I also recommend.)
This Week’s Recs
A few good things worth mentioning…
Watch: The Materialists, in theaters now. A young, ambitious New York City matchmaker finds herself torn between the perfect match and her imperfect ex. The surrounding press interviews for this A24 romcom, which stars Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans, and Pedro Pascal, are enough entertainment to last all of us for at least the next thirty days. This IG post in particular is a fabulous and dreamy syllabus for any lover of good romance and romance-adjacent films:
Cooking: This creamy corn pasta recipe, mentioned above, from Caroline Chambers. Very easy. In the past, I’ve made a version with crab that was also very good.
Buying: The Outset’s ScarJo x Jurassic Park set as a Father’s Day or anytime gift for the man in your life who needs better skincare (aka all of them). The branding is a little “Raptors! But make it self-care!” but the products are well-chosen, and the tiny dopp kit is unexpectedly great. Gave it to my husband and he’s into it. As for me, their moisture-boosting oil is my favorite (I mix it with a basic drugstore moisturizer).
Trying: A surprisingly good list of toddler water play ideas—no new plastic required. Just smart reader suggestions from a Downtime subscriber thread. Paintbrushes, measuring cups, chalk. Simple summer magic.
Saving: Two cozy kid spaces, pictured below, as inspiration. I particularly love the use of the large-scale blue gingham fabric to pare down the sweetness of a pink room. (And that Babar print is so fun!)
Left: Cameron Ruppert Interiors. Right: @thisoakhouse.
What’s one thing you’ve loved this week? Let’s crowdsource some joy.
How to Survive a Chaotic Week (Solo Parenting or Otherwise)
I wrote this while solo parenting for a week, but I’d like to think these reminders hold up whether you’re facing down a huge deadline, navigating a hard breakup, or just trying to get through a week where everything feels 14% harder than usual.
Keep one routine that makes you feel like a person. For me, this meant going to the gym even if it was just for twenty minutes. For you, maybe it’s a morning walk, a skincare routine that involves more than one step, reading five pages of a book, or listening to a podcast while folding laundry. Or if you’re like me and it keeps you sane to have a visually clean home, make sure you set aside ten minutes at night to do a quick sweep of all the highly visible spaces that matter to you. Your morning self will thank you. Whatever your routine is, protect it. Let that little ritual be your tiny act of rebellion against the chaos.
Lower the bar on meals. Then lower it again. This is not the week for roasted chicken with pancetta and heirloom tomatoes. This is the week for buttered noodles, pizza delivery, and frozen dumplings. Emergency levers exist for a reason. Use them! Don’t stress yourself out more than you have to.
That said…if you can, make one Giant Salad. I chopped some cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, and tossed them with chickpeas (roasted with whatever spices I had on hand), EVOO, salt, and feta. A quick dressing made with EVOO, red wine vinegar, and S&P and voila: a filling lunch that lasted me two days *and* I could eat straight out of the mixing bowl.
Low effort, high reward. Vent to your group chat as needed. I like to add, “I just needed to vent,” whenever this happens, so my friends don’t feel pressured to give advice or solve my problems for me. Sometimes you just need to say “WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BAD” into the void.
Screen time. Literally ALL the screen time. This one is specific to parents, but now is not the time to think about the potential long-term harmful effects of watching more episodes of Paw Patrol. This is your permission slip to lean all the way in. Ms. Rachel is basically my co-parent at this point. It's the only way I’ve been able to do the dishes, fold the laundry, and fit in a bit of work this week. God bless!!!
The Reminders app is your best friend for managing the mental load. My husband usually handles dog duty, but he was away, so I set daily alerts for everything: feed Bowie, walk Bowie, give Bowie his nightly Greenie. It sounds small, but outsourcing that mental load to my phone made the week feel doable. (Bowie, if you’re reading this—we love you.)
Wear your "emergency outfit" on repeat. Now is not the time to experiment with fashion. Put on the soft pants. The comfy dress. The “this always works” uniform. The goal is to reduce decisions and feel like yourself with minimal effort. My uniforms this week included my go-to basic tees paired with elastic-waist shorts and elastic-waist linen trousers. Sunscreen + minimal makeup + hair brushed = boom, we’re ready to roll. I didn’t look my best at drop-off, and I also didn’t care. Do what you gotta do!
The dog walking got done with a little help. ;)
What’s a thing you do that makes a hard week 10% more bearable?
Extras: Fun Links & Discoveries
A treasure trove for littles: You can find so many great things on Etsy for all things baby, kids, and decorating the nursery. I've rounded up a few of my favorite finds here, but I want to highlight this amazing vintage Beatrix Potter set, which comes in a darling, custom-carved bookshelf that would make a sweet gift, and this rattan scalloped mirror that would look great in a nursery. *sponsored mention
A cooking hack I used this week: How to cut corn on the cob without having the kernels flying all over the place (the “two bowls method”).
Rediscovering the beauty of film: I have to credit Sara Covey for my re-entry into film cameras a few years ago with a Canon AE-1 Program. Now, she’s got a newsletter on Substack where she shares all of her best tips. Highly recommend.
A tranquil corner of Pienza, Italy on film, shot by me. So excited for this: Olivia Colman is starring in Dolly Alderton’s Pride & Prejudice adaptation for Netflix? Yes yes yes 10000x yes.
An educational read for book lovers: What does the word “propulsive” really mean when it comes to fiction? One of my goals this year is to get better at writing about books, and pieces like this one are so informative as both a writer and a reader. (from The Eclectic Reader)
Travel recs and insights: I shared my summer travel plans with Bella Darden over at the Mindholiday newsletter (spoiler: it involves Nantucket, again!). I also loved her piece on insider tips on how to fly business class without paying for business class.
📕 On My Bookshelf…
Currently reading: The Sirens by Emilia Hart. I’m 90% through. I nearly DNF’ed this (aka “did not finish”) at 50% (the pace was just so, so slow), but once I got through the big reveals at the halfway mark, I couldn’t put it down because I just wanted to get to all the answers. Overall, I’d rate this as a just okay read, as I found the themes to be much too obvious. I’m excited to dig into Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid next!
New releases on my radar: Days of Light by Megan Hunter sounds like it was invented in a lab for me. So Far Gone by Jess Walter has also caught my eye for its unique premise.
PREVIOUSLY ON DOWNTIME
I Love a Book That Makes Me Think
This was written and has been sitting in my drafts since April. I decided to say “f it” and hit send. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. If you’d like more in-depth book chats, please lmk!Downtime is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
How I’m Getting Dressed for Real Life These Days
Today’s post is in partnership with Varley and is unlocked for all subscribers.
Thanks for the reminder to donate! For Father’s Day I donated to Kids in Need of Defense (KIND) in my husband’s name. They help represent children in immigration court.
*nervously laughs in military spouse with a toddler* 😅
What helped me most with the first deployment was telling myself I just had to get through THAT DAY. Don’t look ahead at how long you have until the other parent comes back. Just think about that day.
The other thing is to stay busy. I kept thinking I needed to have weekends at home to just relax, but anyone with a toddler knows that’s not possible. By the end of our days fully at home, I’d be at my wit’s end. The best thing I did was make plans ahead of time when I had any free days. Even if the plans were only for a couple hours.