Aw, Alisha, it means so much that you took my suggestion to make this issue!! And to highlight Meghan's work alongside it?! Such a Substack dream come true. I know there are lots of single gals here who appreciate all the words you collected!
Since asking for that issue last year, I've done a lot of work on radical acceptance and what that means as a single woman in these...um, unusual times. Pair that with reading Meghan's book last fall, and I can now say that I'm genuinely at peace with my singlehood. The best part? The infinite amount of possibility that it comes with. I'm starting to look at what it'd be like to form a mommune to start my family, all while keeping my heart open to whatever the universe throws my way.
For anyone who's single, I cannot recommend Meghan's book enough. I first heard her interviewed on Forever 35, and felt like I was hearing something from a long-lost soul sister. I loved the Life Kit-style actions at the end of each chapter and have since bought it for multiple single friends. A good companion is Shani Silver's book A Single Revolution if you're looking for more :)
I miss having alone time to just "putter around" - my partner often encourages me to go do XYZ thing by myself but sometimes I just want to be in the house, alone, with nobody to ask me questions etc.
Life went really fast once I met my partner. In a span of 5 years, we’ve lived together, quarantined together in the pandemic, got married/eloped, moved 3x, bought a house and had 2 kids. I haven’t really had a chance to just process it all and they’ve all been such blessings. But I miss being bored. I miss having time to myself to do EVERY SINGLE THING I want or to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at all. None of my time is my own anymore. I guess I miss the season of life when my time was my own.
It is interesting how quickly things can change, isn't it? It's okay and reasonable to feel the loss of a past life while also celebrating this new (busy!) chapter of life. I miss what doing nothing felt like, lol!
I'm happily partnered but I love this issue and I'm definitely going to read that book! I think it's incredibly important to put less emphasis on romantic love and more emphasis on friendship love. No man can give me what my girlfriends can (and that's ok!).
To all the people who talked about being mad that people only care about their relationship status, I feel that so deeply!! Particularly the person who talked about grad school. I just finished law school, and while I was in it, kept getting questions from people about if/when I was going to marry my long-term partner. My therapist pointed out how extremely sexist that was--rather than focusing on the very rigorous pursuit on which I was embarking, to some people, the only thing that seemed to matter was if I was going to get married soon!! It's so obnoxious.
I am a 45-year-old twice divorced woman. I have been single now for 12 years, and I can’t see myself ever partnering again. My home is mine and mine alone. My time is spent doing only what I want to do. I can blast Taylor Swift on all the smart speakers in the house and watch Hallmark 24 hours a day. I can be vegan and gluten free without hearing complaints about it, at least at home. I have a circle of friends to have dinners and go to activities with. I am fulfilled in those relationships. I have time to work on my degree after work. Each January, I reassess my life goals, and they are usually: read more books, call Mom more, practice mindfulness and meditation. It’s never to find a life partner. I’m not saying that it won’t ever happen, but I won’t be actively pursuing it.
One thing I miss about being single is waking up early more often! I used to sometimes set my alarm to wake up super early like 5:30 or 6 to go running. Getting up early on weekdays before was how I was able to fit long runs into my schedule. Nowadays I don't want to disturb my partner's sleep unless I have to wake up for something specific and same for him too. I still make time to run by running in the afternoon, and I block out time on weekends for extra long runs.
"you're just working to increase your tolerance for solitude" OMG, I never thought of it that way. I've always just thought that "I can't be still for that long!!!" and never thought of it as an actual skill to build.
Loved this one and the comments on being single SO resonate. I love my life!
How can I (as a married mother of toddlers) be most supportive to my single best friend?? I can’t be her bar buddy every weekend anymore and I also don’t want to rub it in her face or treat her Tinder like a game. Being married is great but I have a much different perspective now that I wish I had listened to as a single girl…. But how annoying is it to get advice from a married hag…
One of the most difficult thing for me in my friendships with married woman (and honestly this has led to the demise of a few friendships) is when the friendship begins to revolve solely around the married friend and doing things on her schedule. I enjoy joining for family dinners, playing with the kids, going to the park, etc - but I still want to do things occasionally that I enjoy and don’t only occur after bedtime or with kids present.
And my personal rule is I don’t accept dating advice from anyone who hasn’t dated in like the last 2 years or who wasn’t single into their 30s 😂
Absolutely love this post! I truly think that people don't believe me when I tell them that I'm so content with my life DESPITE (??!) being single! I actually think it's one of the best aspects of my life and makes me who I am - I always find that when you're jealous of someone or something, those are typically the lives and things you want the most. I know it doesn't apply to all single people but I can genuinely say I never feel jealous of my married or coupled up friends - and that's all the evidence I need to know that my life is full with the people I have in it - my family, both blood-relatives and soul-sisters. And all of the other short-lived but still meaningful connections I've made along the way. A party of one is one of my favourite parties to attend!
Aw, Alisha, it means so much that you took my suggestion to make this issue!! And to highlight Meghan's work alongside it?! Such a Substack dream come true. I know there are lots of single gals here who appreciate all the words you collected!
Since asking for that issue last year, I've done a lot of work on radical acceptance and what that means as a single woman in these...um, unusual times. Pair that with reading Meghan's book last fall, and I can now say that I'm genuinely at peace with my singlehood. The best part? The infinite amount of possibility that it comes with. I'm starting to look at what it'd be like to form a mommune to start my family, all while keeping my heart open to whatever the universe throws my way.
For anyone who's single, I cannot recommend Meghan's book enough. I first heard her interviewed on Forever 35, and felt like I was hearing something from a long-lost soul sister. I loved the Life Kit-style actions at the end of each chapter and have since bought it for multiple single friends. A good companion is Shani Silver's book A Single Revolution if you're looking for more :)
❤️ Love this and LOVE "mommune!" Thank you for sending in the original suggestion.
I miss having alone time to just "putter around" - my partner often encourages me to go do XYZ thing by myself but sometimes I just want to be in the house, alone, with nobody to ask me questions etc.
Omg being in the house alone is such a luxury. !!!
Especially with toddlers running around 😂
Life went really fast once I met my partner. In a span of 5 years, we’ve lived together, quarantined together in the pandemic, got married/eloped, moved 3x, bought a house and had 2 kids. I haven’t really had a chance to just process it all and they’ve all been such blessings. But I miss being bored. I miss having time to myself to do EVERY SINGLE THING I want or to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at all. None of my time is my own anymore. I guess I miss the season of life when my time was my own.
It is interesting how quickly things can change, isn't it? It's okay and reasonable to feel the loss of a past life while also celebrating this new (busy!) chapter of life. I miss what doing nothing felt like, lol!
I'm happily partnered but I love this issue and I'm definitely going to read that book! I think it's incredibly important to put less emphasis on romantic love and more emphasis on friendship love. No man can give me what my girlfriends can (and that's ok!).
To all the people who talked about being mad that people only care about their relationship status, I feel that so deeply!! Particularly the person who talked about grad school. I just finished law school, and while I was in it, kept getting questions from people about if/when I was going to marry my long-term partner. My therapist pointed out how extremely sexist that was--rather than focusing on the very rigorous pursuit on which I was embarking, to some people, the only thing that seemed to matter was if I was going to get married soon!! It's so obnoxious.
I am a 45-year-old twice divorced woman. I have been single now for 12 years, and I can’t see myself ever partnering again. My home is mine and mine alone. My time is spent doing only what I want to do. I can blast Taylor Swift on all the smart speakers in the house and watch Hallmark 24 hours a day. I can be vegan and gluten free without hearing complaints about it, at least at home. I have a circle of friends to have dinners and go to activities with. I am fulfilled in those relationships. I have time to work on my degree after work. Each January, I reassess my life goals, and they are usually: read more books, call Mom more, practice mindfulness and meditation. It’s never to find a life partner. I’m not saying that it won’t ever happen, but I won’t be actively pursuing it.
I saw John Early do that special live and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Love that rec!
One thing I miss about being single is waking up early more often! I used to sometimes set my alarm to wake up super early like 5:30 or 6 to go running. Getting up early on weekdays before was how I was able to fit long runs into my schedule. Nowadays I don't want to disturb my partner's sleep unless I have to wake up for something specific and same for him too. I still make time to run by running in the afternoon, and I block out time on weekends for extra long runs.
"you're just working to increase your tolerance for solitude" OMG, I never thought of it that way. I've always just thought that "I can't be still for that long!!!" and never thought of it as an actual skill to build.
Loved this one and the comments on being single SO resonate. I love my life!
How can I (as a married mother of toddlers) be most supportive to my single best friend?? I can’t be her bar buddy every weekend anymore and I also don’t want to rub it in her face or treat her Tinder like a game. Being married is great but I have a much different perspective now that I wish I had listened to as a single girl…. But how annoying is it to get advice from a married hag…
One of the most difficult thing for me in my friendships with married woman (and honestly this has led to the demise of a few friendships) is when the friendship begins to revolve solely around the married friend and doing things on her schedule. I enjoy joining for family dinners, playing with the kids, going to the park, etc - but I still want to do things occasionally that I enjoy and don’t only occur after bedtime or with kids present.
And my personal rule is I don’t accept dating advice from anyone who hasn’t dated in like the last 2 years or who wasn’t single into their 30s 😂
You sound like a great friend!
Absolutely love this post! I truly think that people don't believe me when I tell them that I'm so content with my life DESPITE (??!) being single! I actually think it's one of the best aspects of my life and makes me who I am - I always find that when you're jealous of someone or something, those are typically the lives and things you want the most. I know it doesn't apply to all single people but I can genuinely say I never feel jealous of my married or coupled up friends - and that's all the evidence I need to know that my life is full with the people I have in it - my family, both blood-relatives and soul-sisters. And all of the other short-lived but still meaningful connections I've made along the way. A party of one is one of my favourite parties to attend!