Lessons I Learned From a Just-Okay Year

Sharing a few things I’m taking into 2025.

Hi! I’m popping in today with a short essay and a style edit. If the email cuts off, you can view it on the web.

In today’s post:

• Reflections on a bumpy, foggy year and the lessons I’m taking into 2025

• My #1 time management lesson (and why weekends now require strategy)

• The festive outfit formula I swear by this holiday season

• A pretty genius (and fun) end-of-year tradition

Seven Lessons Learned in a Blurry Year

As we head into the latter half of December, I can’t help but feel the pull to just start over already. Yesterday, I ordered two fresh notebooks¹, a 2025 planner, and some new pens—as if their arrival will mean that yes, I have permission to start fresh now.

It’s been a bumpy and foggy year. (I also want to add in “exhausting,” but honestly, who isn’t?) This was my first full year of motherhood, my “back to work” year, the year I learned how to work in stolen hours—during naps, early mornings, and after bedtime. It was also the year I got sick more times than I could count and realized I can’t do everything. It was the year that I had to accept that my professional life is a little bit in its flop era. (Which is okay! An era is just a phase.)

I know I did my best, but still—I’m ready to say goodbye. I’m limping into the home stretch, ready to jump into the arms of 2025.

Some years are full of big wins, shimmering with meaning and transformation in your personal life, career, and relationships. Other years, like this one, aren’t exactly losses, but they’re not exactly wins either. They’re just a gray fog of blah—you did what you had to do to get by. And that’s okay. I’m aiming not to blame myself (as I so often do) for how my year went, and I know there were plenty of tiny bright spots in 2024. I accept the year for what it was. But it all just sort of… happened, you know?

Something that makes the end of the year much, much better: Jude Law in The Holiday.

Still, rushing ahead doesn’t really work. So, I’ve carved out the Friday after Christmas as my “Reflection Day.” Nothing fancy—just me, scrolling through iPhone photo albums and calendar invites, trying to jog my memory of what this year actually held. The good, the hard, the joyful bits I forgot.

And while it all feels a little foggy, a few lessons have managed to shine through. Here are just a few lessons I’ve learned in this just-okay year:

1. If it’s not in the calendar, it won’t happen. Ohhhh boy. This has been my #1 learning. I’ve had to relearn how to view my time—and my to-do list—realistically. It’s wild how time feels compressed in this new mom era; I blink and it’s time for pickup. Time blocking has been key. I even have non-work chores blocked off in my calendar, things like “return stuff at the mall” and, yes, even a reminder to “READ.”

   

   lol sob

2. Getting out in the world feeds my creative soul. Whether it’s going to my favorite coffee shop or making the trek into the city to stroll a few of my favorite streets, popping into shops I love, I need these small adventures to feel inspired. Given that we live in the suburbs, a city trip takes extra planning and energy, but it’s always worth it.

3. “Making family memories” requires planning. This is a new one I’ve grown accustomed to after becoming a mom last year. My weekends just look different now; it’s been one of the most jarring changes. If we don’t plan ahead, we spend the weekends at home wondering what to do. The research and coordination? Mental labor in its own right—whew—but it’s worth it for the memories.

4. Waking up early sucks but it’s worth it. I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. But in this season of life, I force myself out of bed at 6 a.m. when I can. Those quiet moments alone? They’re magic. (And when I do most of my writing.)

5. Good enough is better than nothing. This is definitely a work in progress, but I’ve been learning to let go of perfection, prioritize ruthlessly, and get things out into the world—like today’s newsletter—without polishing them to oblivion. If I waited until things were perfect, they’d never get done.

6. There are “heart jobs,” and then there are “money jobs.” This idea comes from

   Pandora Sykes
   , but as a currently self-employed creative person, I’ve had to accept that this life means I’ll always have a mix of meaningful and fulfilling work and work that simply helps me pay the bills and makes the heart jobs possible.

7. It’s always a good idea to delete Instagram off my phone (even for a day). Ah yes, the social media dance continues. I’m excited to strive for a healthier relationship with it going into next year. For now, my approach is a full-on delete the app from my phone move.

How about you? What did you learn this year? Big or small, clear or foggy—I’d love to hear what’s stuck with you as we close out 2024.

—Alisha

My Favorite Ways to Make An Outfit Feel Festive

Written by me, in partnership with J.Crew!

I firmly believe we’re living in the golden age of holiday dressing for homebodies like me. Finally, the fashion gods have aligned, blessing us with fancy soft pants aplenty. The kitten heel has staged a triumphant comeback as the occasion shoe of choice. Cloud-soft sweaters are the item du jour. Someone in fashion clearly got the memo: we want to look festive but also feel like we’re out in public wearing pajamas. (A holiday miracle, if you ask me.)

To celebrate this golden age, I grabbed a few pieces from J.Crew* to show you how I’m navigating holiday dressing this year—whether it’s a work-adjacent party, a cozy gift swap with friends, or a fancy date night out.

Outfit Idea 1: Mix Two Shiny, Light-Catching Textures.

Let’s start with the shimmer. J.Crew is having a moment with shiny-but-not-too-shiny fabrics, and as a self-proclaimed magpie, I couldn’t look away. My first find? These textured satin pants in the most gorgeous wine red. (And yes, they have an elastic waistband—ELASTIC. WAIST. A holiday essential if ever there was one.)

Next, I paired them with a sheer metallic top in a fine, pleated, silvery material that feels sophisticated and just a touch daring. Who knew I’d be rocking a semi-sheer top in my thirties? Certainly not me. Yet here we are, thriving.

Shiny + satin-y + crystal accessories = FESTIVE MODE, activated.

Look 2: Sweater + Fun Pants, or Fun Sweater + Neutral Pants

Okay, another moment for these PANTS. If there’s one thing I’d buy again and again from today’s post, it’s these. They feel like pajamas. They fit loosely. They drape beautifully. The color is perfect for the holidays. For a low-effort/high-impact combo, I paired them with a basic-but-perfect cashmere cropped crewneck (left) and a cropped V-neck (right). I adore both.

Honestly, these outfits (sans heels) could pass as pajamas.

Now let’s flip the formula: a fun sweater on top and neutral pants on the bottom. In this case, it’s a leopard print sweater—which tbh is a neutral in my book, but I digress—paired with knit sweater flare pants that feel suspiciously like wearing yoga pants to a party. Sneaky, I know. (Note: I need to swap mine for the Petite length…)

I didn’t buy the above cardigan and I am deeply, deeply regretting it. With the contrast trim and gold buttons, this totally counts as a “fun sweater” in my book.

Look 3: Sweater + Something Sparkly

If I had to summarize this look, it’s “sweater + sparkle = effortless holiday magic.” Here, I paired the cropped V-neck sweater (which is so good—I love that the V isn’t too deep) with a sequin slip skirt. I could see this working well for a work holiday party.

Also - these heels! I I feel like I could walk a mile in them — the magic of kitten heels. I’m mad that the black version have sold out, but you better believe I’ve put myself on the waitlist.

Pro tip: If skirts aren’t your thing, swap in a pair of jeans but keep a sparkle element somewhere—in your heels, your earrings, your bag, or even a hair accessory. The sequins don’t have to scream; they just have to wink.

Look 4: More is MORE. Pile on ALL of your sparkles and textures.

When in doubt, why not channel your inner maximalist and pile on all the textures, sparkles, and festive joy?

This tweed lady topcoat makes me feel like…a lady. Or at least a very chic character in a holiday rom-com.

This is that same navy sequin skirt, paired with a matching sequin tank, with a tweed topcoat over. This outfit practically demands to be worn to a fancy dinner-and-show date night—Kennedy Center, anyone? Just a casual hint to my dear husband. ;)

Speaking of “more is more,” the below photo is essentially look 2, but swapping out the basic sweater for a textured satin tank top to mix all of the textures. Plus, perhaps the best sparkly jacket ever? We’ve got sequins! We’ve got satin! There’s a velvet bow in the hair! Metallic heels! This look just makes me feel happy.

This jacket is an instant outfit-maker. The velvet bow btw is $11 right now. I’ve worn mine so much it’s basically part of my winter uniform.

I ended up not buying this cardigan but I am deeply, deeply regretting it.

Lastly, as a side note, I am simply delighted by this petite satin bag with its loopy, crystal handles. The design is gorgeous IRL. The red version is calling my name…

What’s your go-to formula for holiday dressing? Are you team “fancy pants and a sweater” or “sequins all the way”? Share your festive staples below—I’m always looking for more inspiration! —Alisha

*Thanks to J.Crew for sponsoring today’s newsletter. You can shop all the things I’m wearing, plus a few more picks of mine right here.

Thank you for supporting the brands that support Downtime.

4 Quick Downtime Recs!

1. READ/LISTEN: If you’re aiming to squeeze in a few more reads before the end of the year, this full-cast romance audiobook was short, sweet, and fun.

2. WATCH: Skeleton Crew on Disney Plus. It’s a new entry in the Star Wars canon, featuring a Stranger Things-esque coming of age story following four kids who stumble upon a starship and get lost in space. Starring Jude Law. !!

3. LISTEN: Speaking of Jude Law…this Nancy Meyers Christmas playlist is perfection.

4. REFLECT: I loved reading about

   Allison Stadd
   ’s “annual routine” which she practices each December as a sort of wrap-up. She includes a personal review (self, relationships, career), a framework for the following year (like choosing a word of the year), and a family photo album (Allison recommends Chatbooks, which I just signed up for!).

   But my favorite tradition of hers is the annual “family time capsule”:

   “My husband and I answer the same set of questions each year, since 2014 — we’ve since added our dog and our sons; I use a small three-ring binder and add a few pages for each year’s questions and answers.”

   How cool is that? And of course, I’m now on the hunt for a fresh three-ring binder to start my own version…

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Bookmarked with Nikki May

10 Things That Made Me Happy This Week

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Thanks for reading! I hope you have a restful weekend. x Alisha

1. I ordered these dotted notebooks, from a brand that I really love! And their planner, too.