Alisha, it surprises me so much that you referred to this year as your flop era-- I've never loved or admired Downtime more than I did this year, and I think you write for such a large audience with a grace and a cozy-ness that makes everyone feel like your close friend... when I think about First Rodeo, I dream about being able to write for it and achieve what you have with Downtime. I know perspective is everything and I'm missing a few of the chess pieces you have when you evaluate this chapter of your career, but if it helps to know-- I think this is anything but your flop. <3
This post came up on my feed then took me to your post on career / ambition, and both resonated with me SO much! I also had a grey/foggy year on a lot of fronts, and feel I need to make some changes.
I just pressed “submit” on a career break request from my all-consuming corporate job for half of 2025, with the plan to spend the time investing in myself and my relationships (and untangling my entire self worth from my career, I’m sure that’ll be easy…!). I feel very scared and excited and lucky, and hopeful that 2025 will be a great year for us all. Thanks for the great piece, subscribed <3
Thanks for sharing, I’m glad this resonated with you. And whoa, good on you for requesting a break!! That’s huge. I hope it’ll be a clarifying and fulfilling time for you. I wish taking breaks like that were more normalized.
Found myself nodding and saying – okay, *shouting* – yes to so much of this, Alisha. Thank you for acknowledging 2024 as a just-okay year, because that's exactly how it was for so many of us. I, too, completed my first full year of motherhood and understand finding the extra hours to work and write during naps and bedtimes all too well!
Walking into 2025 feels like a big exhale and like a chance to start fresh as someone a touch wiser and a bit more seasoned at this motherhood dance. You've got this ☺️
I’m so glad this resonated with you! We’ve got this! The first year is just so challenging in every way. I feel a *little* more confident going into next year, too.
Regarding social media: the Opal app has completely changed my relationship with social media. It's heavily blocked from my phone, so I can only access it during a short period of time each day. It feels like a "treat" and I can never be on it long enough to doom scroll. My mind feels lighter!
Oh, I’ll have to check this out, thanks! It’s tricky because part of my ‘job’ is being active on social, but I’m really trying to find a balance and avoid getting sucked into the endless scrolling that always seems to happen when I open the app just to get something else done.
This post resonated with me so much! Literally the language you used has been in my head the past few months - bumpy and foggy, a "back to work" year (I came back from a maternity leave too), working in stolen hours (early mornings and after bedtime!), and accepting that things are just going to fail or flop for a little bit. Everything was just so so hard this year, and even thinking about it makes me want to tear up. But we did it, we survived, we're still here, and absolutely yes I am ready to just start over already in 2025 too!
I had foggy year with family and health issues. I learned to ask for help from friends because I had to accept I am able to do less than when I was younger. Still shopping and bill paying and exercising but not driving. Huge difference but trying to focus on what I can do.
Asking for help is so hard, so even the fact that you did this is huge! It’s something I’d like to get better at. Wishing you better health and healing in the new year.
Your plan of a day of reflection sounds so wonderful, I’m inspired! Beth Kempton calls the time between Christmas and New Year, “the Hush” in one of her books and I now look forward to that period every year.
“These are the days in between. The liminal space that hovers between the festivities and before the fresh new year. A time of long walks, hot coffees, languid lounging with leftover chocolates, adding birthday dates to the new diary, telephone catchups, old memories, new plans, making time, telling stories, everything on pause.”
The matrescence era is foggy and blurry by definition. Things will look so, so different in even two years. I could have written this post in my first year postpartum. Now, a few years later, my career is thriving beyond my wildest imagination, and so are my kids. Please gift yourself the pleasure of outsourcing whatever you can until your youngest is 5 (we do a meal delivery service called feast and fettle). Also, I’m a retired influencer (just do my doctor day job now) and the ScreenZen app is amazing at changing your relationship with your phone. Maybe you could assign the social media research part of your job to an employee. Your quiet attention and cozy mindspace are your superpower and where (I think as a longtime reader) your unique strengths lie. Quality > Quantity. I believe in you and can’t wait to see where you go from here!
Thanks for sharing this! I had the year that you're describing last year, in 2023, and was very grateful for the beginning of this year. Oddly, I feel like I have actually had a better year, because sometimes I'm just so grateful that things are a little lighter, a little more fun, a little more sustainable than they were all of last year. I wish that for you in 2025!
Also: yes to getting rid of Instagram! I did this a couple of years and have logged on a few times in the past few months and can literally FEEL my blood pressure rising. It's not worth it for me anymore!
I also go through phases of deleting the Instagram app from my phone....it's weird because you feel like you're missing out on things that are happening, but it's also so freeing to not be constantly refreshing my feed hoping for no updates and stories......very weird balance to try to find.
Just finished my first whole year as mom as well, and also feel like I'm in my work 'flop era' - I resonated so hard with all of your 7 lessons. Every single one! Nodded along as I read through them. I failed a bit hard with lesson 5 which in turn led to me being VERY quiet on sm, which is also a platform for work + connections for me. So there has been a ripple effect. But I accept that this foggy year, a year of pause and unbecoming and becoming, is just what I needed.
If this is your flop era, I’ve loved it. Maybe cause I’m in mine too? I’ve deprioritized work for motherhood, leaned into the small joys and thrown my hands up at the rest.
And I keep a post it at my desk that says “done is better than perfect”. Recovering perfectionist over here 😅
Alisha, it surprises me so much that you referred to this year as your flop era-- I've never loved or admired Downtime more than I did this year, and I think you write for such a large audience with a grace and a cozy-ness that makes everyone feel like your close friend... when I think about First Rodeo, I dream about being able to write for it and achieve what you have with Downtime. I know perspective is everything and I'm missing a few of the chess pieces you have when you evaluate this chapter of your career, but if it helps to know-- I think this is anything but your flop. <3
Well now I’m tearing up. Thank you. I need to print this out and pin it in my office! This means so much ❤️ We really are our own worst critics...
And right back at you - I had SO much fun reading First Rodeo this year. It’s an instant read for me whenever it pops up in my inbox.
thank you!!! 🥰 love you!
This post came up on my feed then took me to your post on career / ambition, and both resonated with me SO much! I also had a grey/foggy year on a lot of fronts, and feel I need to make some changes.
I just pressed “submit” on a career break request from my all-consuming corporate job for half of 2025, with the plan to spend the time investing in myself and my relationships (and untangling my entire self worth from my career, I’m sure that’ll be easy…!). I feel very scared and excited and lucky, and hopeful that 2025 will be a great year for us all. Thanks for the great piece, subscribed <3
Thanks for sharing, I’m glad this resonated with you. And whoa, good on you for requesting a break!! That’s huge. I hope it’ll be a clarifying and fulfilling time for you. I wish taking breaks like that were more normalized.
Found myself nodding and saying – okay, *shouting* – yes to so much of this, Alisha. Thank you for acknowledging 2024 as a just-okay year, because that's exactly how it was for so many of us. I, too, completed my first full year of motherhood and understand finding the extra hours to work and write during naps and bedtimes all too well!
Walking into 2025 feels like a big exhale and like a chance to start fresh as someone a touch wiser and a bit more seasoned at this motherhood dance. You've got this ☺️
I’m so glad this resonated with you! We’ve got this! The first year is just so challenging in every way. I feel a *little* more confident going into next year, too.
Regarding social media: the Opal app has completely changed my relationship with social media. It's heavily blocked from my phone, so I can only access it during a short period of time each day. It feels like a "treat" and I can never be on it long enough to doom scroll. My mind feels lighter!
Oh, I’ll have to check this out, thanks! It’s tricky because part of my ‘job’ is being active on social, but I’m really trying to find a balance and avoid getting sucked into the endless scrolling that always seems to happen when I open the app just to get something else done.
I felt so much of this and love the idea of a pausing "Reflection Day."
❤️ I kept thinking to myself that I want to reflect on the year, but I know I just won’t do it unless I carve out a full day dedicated to it!
This post resonated with me so much! Literally the language you used has been in my head the past few months - bumpy and foggy, a "back to work" year (I came back from a maternity leave too), working in stolen hours (early mornings and after bedtime!), and accepting that things are just going to fail or flop for a little bit. Everything was just so so hard this year, and even thinking about it makes me want to tear up. But we did it, we survived, we're still here, and absolutely yes I am ready to just start over already in 2025 too!
WE DID IT, you did it! Back to work after mat leave was a doozy and I’m giving myself a ton of grace. Hoping for a less foggy next year for us.
I had foggy year with family and health issues. I learned to ask for help from friends because I had to accept I am able to do less than when I was younger. Still shopping and bill paying and exercising but not driving. Huge difference but trying to focus on what I can do.
Asking for help is so hard, so even the fact that you did this is huge! It’s something I’d like to get better at. Wishing you better health and healing in the new year.
Your plan of a day of reflection sounds so wonderful, I’m inspired! Beth Kempton calls the time between Christmas and New Year, “the Hush” in one of her books and I now look forward to that period every year.
“These are the days in between. The liminal space that hovers between the festivities and before the fresh new year. A time of long walks, hot coffees, languid lounging with leftover chocolates, adding birthday dates to the new diary, telephone catchups, old memories, new plans, making time, telling stories, everything on pause.”
Oh I love this. It’s always one of my favorite times of the year. Thanks for sharing ❤️
I love this time of year too! I recently recorded a conversation with Tanya Lynch, a retreat host, on 'retreating at home' during this time of year (https://laurenkatepowell.substack.com/p/navigation-life-with-ease-3) - and incidentally Tanya recently interviewed Beth Kempton for her podcast with Toni Jones! - https://shelfhelpclub.substack.com/p/ep-3-beth-kempton-the-older-you-are
Wishing you a lovely time in "the Hush" 🎄❄️
Alisha! You just had a year of great transition.
The matrescence era is foggy and blurry by definition. Things will look so, so different in even two years. I could have written this post in my first year postpartum. Now, a few years later, my career is thriving beyond my wildest imagination, and so are my kids. Please gift yourself the pleasure of outsourcing whatever you can until your youngest is 5 (we do a meal delivery service called feast and fettle). Also, I’m a retired influencer (just do my doctor day job now) and the ScreenZen app is amazing at changing your relationship with your phone. Maybe you could assign the social media research part of your job to an employee. Your quiet attention and cozy mindspace are your superpower and where (I think as a longtime reader) your unique strengths lie. Quality > Quantity. I believe in you and can’t wait to see where you go from here!
This means so much, thank you, and I am so thrilled to hear that you are thriving in your career!!
Thanks for sharing this! I had the year that you're describing last year, in 2023, and was very grateful for the beginning of this year. Oddly, I feel like I have actually had a better year, because sometimes I'm just so grateful that things are a little lighter, a little more fun, a little more sustainable than they were all of last year. I wish that for you in 2025!
Also: yes to getting rid of Instagram! I did this a couple of years and have logged on a few times in the past few months and can literally FEEL my blood pressure rising. It's not worth it for me anymore!
Love embracing the lighter, fun stuff ❤️❤️
I'm with you on number 5- done is better than perfect. 2024 was the year I let go of perfection!
Another thing I learned this year: it's okay to change your mind.
Yes!!
As a new mom this year, I can really relate to all of these lessons!
I also go through phases of deleting the Instagram app from my phone....it's weird because you feel like you're missing out on things that are happening, but it's also so freeing to not be constantly refreshing my feed hoping for no updates and stories......very weird balance to try to find.
It’s very weird. I have the same fomo issue and want to combat it by having a fuller / busier irl life or projects to distract me but…yeah it’s hard!
Just finished my first whole year as mom as well, and also feel like I'm in my work 'flop era' - I resonated so hard with all of your 7 lessons. Every single one! Nodded along as I read through them. I failed a bit hard with lesson 5 which in turn led to me being VERY quiet on sm, which is also a platform for work + connections for me. So there has been a ripple effect. But I accept that this foggy year, a year of pause and unbecoming and becoming, is just what I needed.
Thank you for sharing <3
I love “a year of pause and unbecoming and becoming” so much ❤️
ty :) maybe I should take that as my sign to post my own reflection on sm and show up again
Swoon, thank you for the shout-out!!! Big O.G. GNI fan over here!
😍 Of course, and I love seeing your newsletter in my inbox! Thanks for all the great ideas.
If this is your flop era, I’ve loved it. Maybe cause I’m in mine too? I’ve deprioritized work for motherhood, leaned into the small joys and thrown my hands up at the rest.
And I keep a post it at my desk that says “done is better than perfect”. Recovering perfectionist over here 😅